WASHINGTON,D.C.,USA In an unprecedented move which is speculated by many to be a bid to boost his recently flagging approval ratings President Barack Obama announced today the creation of two new cabinet positions.
Citing the vast amount of publicity surrounding the death of Michael Jackson and the frequent statements and appearances of his father Joe Jackson, Obama created the position of Spin Master General specifically for the elder Jackson.
An anonymous inside source reported that Obama commented "Anyone that can take a personal history of child abuse and exploitation and manage to make a good deal of the American public sympathetic to his plight has earned a place in history and in my cabinet. And then to have the uncanny ability to weave in references to slavery......the man is a genius and his proclamations are well worth heeding!"
In a nod to the enormously positive impact on the United States economy of Michael Jackson's passing and her shrewd management of publicity and record sales, Obama appointed Katherine Jackson Queen Mother of Pop and Economic Stimulus. "If Katherine can take the the legacy of a washed up, drug addicted long inactive pop star who was hundreds of millions of dollars in debt at the time of his death and within mere weeks make him once again not only profitable but to reinvent him into somewhat of a folk hero, I need her on my team!" stated Obama.
News of the appointments led to an immediate rally of the US stockmarket.
"If the Jackson family can experience this robust of a recovery in such a short time, the entire economy can't be far behind" reasoned Obama.