Former President-of-Vice Dick Cheney has started a new retirement career. Like many older men who have devoted an entire life to a professional career and now find themselves in retirement, Mr. Cheney is embarking on a new 'fantasy job'. Many retirees who find themselves with plenty of time to devote to new careers chose a dream job that they have long wanted to try out, such as salmon fishing, working in an exotic country, or delivering singing telegrams. Mr. Cheney has gotten into the profession of being a hired hit man.
"It is something I long dreamed of trying." stated Mr. Cheney dreamily as he leaned back in his easy chair for the interview. "The romance of going after a particular individual, stalking him, learning his habits, hunting him down and then, POW!!, giving him a bullet as his last meal. It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!" said Cheney with a huge smile on his face, which is a rare and very unnerving thing to see.
The Russian Mafia decided to give Cheney a try out for his apprenticeship. "Any guy who can shoot a friend in the face probably has what it takes to be one of our chill guys." said Serge Tchoicenik, the local D.C. representative of the Ruskie mob. "It's actually in our training to do that very thing."
For his first assignments Cheney was sent out to rub out a couple of Democrats who were screwing up the local health care rackets. Mr. Cheney seemed to have a particular relish for the jobs.