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Tuesday, 21 July 2009

image for Beckham "Fisting" Fracas
"Yes, please, David !"

David Beckham, LA Galaxy's part-time midfielder, was involved in ugly scenes at the Old Fridge Dumping Center during an exhibition match with former club AC Milan.

As the players headed for the dressing room, Beckham, 34, who had earlier unveiled a new tattoo on his forehead reading 'TWAT', was accosted from the stands by Galaxy fan and militant gay activist H. Ashbury Junior III, who allegedly asked the England player for "a good fisting".

Misinterpreting the request as a challenge to fight, Beckham attempted to scale the fence to grapple with his tormentor.

Mr. Ashbury, who had dropped his shorts and applied lubricant to his buttocks, was immediately grabbed around the head and forced to his knees by visiting supporter David Walliams, a comedian from England, London.

Beckham, meanwhile, giving the crazed fan the middle finger, was led away by teammates, security staff and a posse of Scientologists employed by the watching Tom Cruise.

Wife Victoria, 32 (?), wrongly assuming that her husband had been "up for it", was last night in therapy.

LA Galaxy issued a short statement blaming "some jerk-off in the crowd" for spoiling the friendly, which ended 2-2.

The LAPD, who had earlier hosed down and arrested Ashbury, released the student, reportedly webmaster of ValleyFratFags.com, without charge. He was described as "shaken, but not stirred".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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