Written by Frankie The J
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Friday, 17 July 2009

image for Senator Byrd Loses Ass--Manhunt for Missing Butt
This is not a photograph of Senator Byrd.

Senator Robert C. Byrd, Democrat from West Virginia, was found wandering, lost, once again, in the corridors of the Senate Office Building, Wednesday afternoon. And while that is not news, the fact that the Senator had no ass was news, and yet another sad chapter in Byrd's steady decline. A nation-wide manhunt for Byrd's missing rump failed to locate it Thursday.

"This is not the first time the Senator has misplaced a body part," said Capital Policeman Daryl H. Oates. "Last month his penis fell out of his trousers and he was trapped on the Senate escalator for more than three hours," said the 20-year veteran cop.

The junior Senator from West Virginia, Jay Rockefeller, vowed to "continue the search, wherever it may lead. This must be a Homeland Security issue. He cannot sit at his desk anymore. Because his ass is missing, he keeps rolling off his chair and onto the Senate floor."

Byrd last saw his ass in 1943 but only missed it this week. "I can tell you right now, I have no knowledge of the whereabouts of any money...I mean my ass."

TheSpoof.com will keep you informed of any further developments as they arise.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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