Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 19 July 2009

image for California Has No More Money To Fight Forest Fires
The latest California wildfire has reportedly burned down the Atascadero Volunteer Fire Department Firehouse.

SACRAMENTO - Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has informed the California Legislature that there is no money left in the Forest Fire Fighting Fund.

The governor talking with beads of sweat forming on his forehead said that it is the most serious California condition since three years ago when California clinics in the Beverly Hills area ran out of lip collagen.

He stated that hopefully the Santa Ana Winds will calm down a little bit and turn into nothing more that the Santa Ana Breeze.

The governor said that he received an email from Girl Scout Troop 7116 from Mission Viejo, California saying that they will be holding a Girl Scout Cracker Sale to help raise money to donate to the state's Forest Fire Fighting Fund. He stated that the Girl Scouts hope to raise at least $200 to $300.

Reports coming in to CNN are stating that the latest California wildfire has already destroyed the Atascadero Volunteer Fire Department Firehouse in Atascadero, parts of the Bob Barker Come On Down Shopping Mall in Los Osos, and a Long John Silver's drive-thru window in Santa Margarita.

California continues to struggle along with a $26 billion deficit. Schwarzenegger said that if things keep getting worse he will have no choice but to start selling off California landmarks like The Golden Gate Bridge, Knotts Berry Farm, the Hollywood Sign, San Quentin Prison, and the La Brea Tar Pits.

He did say that he truly appreciates the three generous loans that have been made to the state from Ellen DeGeneres, Manny Ramirez, and OctuMom.

The governor stated that he did have to veto Hugh Hefner's suggestion that the state borrow $2 million from Simon Cowell and purchase scratch off lottery tickets in Texas, Oklahoma, and New Mexico.

Schwarzenegger also remarked that he did not like Rush Limbaugh's idea of having the California National Guard go in and commandeer every Malibu Beach beach house and then turn around and place them all on eBay.

In other news. Perez Hilton is reporting on his Internet Blog that America's Got Talent's country singer Kevin Skinner told Ryan Seacrest that he 'sho nuff' would like to go out on a date with that Jessica Simpson gal now that her boyfriend old Tony "Touchdown" Romo has dumped her gorgeous little ass (bahookie).

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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