Limey dickhead, Skoob 1999, a sometime contributor to world renowned satirical website TheSpoof.com has revealed that Americans are basically a big bunch of robbing thieving bastards.
Especially the squirrels.
Whingeing bastard Spoof pretender Skoob told us:
"We were at Madison Square Park in a New York Winter Wonderland when the Mrs asked me to pose for a photo with the Flatiron Building in the background. As I was obliging, this fucking squirrel turned up trying to pick my pocket. I swatted the little bastard but he wouldn't give it up and continued to attempt to pick my pocket. No matter how violent I got towards him, he wouldn't give up on the pocket picking shit. It was like a hairy Fagin."
Doctor Dolittle informed us that the squirrel thought that Skoob 1999 was a complete pussy and deserved everything he got.
"We don't need pussies like this in the Big Apple" the squirrel quipped. "Fuckin' limey asshole..."
More 'It's A Tough Town' Stories as they come in.