Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 18 July 2009

image for Billy Ray Cyrus Cancels The 2009 Miley Cyrus - Amy Winehouse Tour
Amy Winehouse shown without makeup and dressed in a gown from the Elton John Collection.

LOS ANGELES - Billy Ray Cyrus, father and manager of Miley Cyrus has reportedly canceled the upcoming Miley Cyrus - Amy Winehouse Tour.

A spokesperson for the elder Cyrus, Levi Plymill said that Billy Ray found out that Ms. Winehouse had just gotten three brand new tattoos and that one of them badmouthed country music, which is Billy Ray's bread and butter.

When asked what the new tattoo was, Cyrus said that Winehouse had gotten a tattoo of an anatomically correct female pig tattooed on her belly and beneath it were the words 'Just another fat country girl singer.'

Winehouse remarked that the tattoo was not aimed at Miley, or Taylor Swift, or even Carrie Underwood. She said that she was just making fun of Wynonna Judd who had ballooned up to 400 pounds.

Billy Ray said that he was no fan of Wynonna's but that he was not going to stand by and let Miss Judd be made fun of.

Winehouse replied that lady Judd was loaded and that she had enough money to buy Kentucky, West Virginia, and Detroit if she wanted to.

Billy Ray asked her why she would want to buy Detroit and Winehouse emailed him back and said that it was just a figure of speech.

Winehouse said that she still wants Mr. Cyrus to pay her what he had agreed to pay her. Billy said that he would not pay Winehouse one red cent and remarked that he truly felt that she needs to stop taking her ugly pills because they sure as shit are working.

Amy said that MulletMan could kiss her labia majora, labia minora, and her one remaining bicuspid.

SIDENOTE: Billy Ray Cyrus has said that he will refund all of the ticket money and that he is currently working on a Miley Cyrus - Melissa Ethridge Tour, which his manager has already dubbed The 2009 TennyBopper - JoyboxBopper Tour.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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