Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 14 July 2009

image for Vandals Deface World Famous Las Vegas Sign
Peter Townsend of The Who playing poker and losing $283,000 at the El Conquistador Hotel

LAS VEGAS - Independent Security Guard Dibber Dunphy said that as he was making his rounds he looked up at the Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada sign and noticed that someone had tagged it with graffiti.

Dunphy immediately called the Las Vegas Police Department, who arrived within minutes. Investigating officer Roger Winnemucca said that as far as he could figure out the graffiti was not the work of teenage gang members.

When he was asked how he knew, he replied that gang members use plain, simple everyday Sharpie markers, and he added that the 'tagger' in this case used a Gucci Universal X-17 Florescent Marker. The Gucci X-17 is only available in Paris, France and costs $73.

Dunphy did say that he was able to take some DNA from where the culprit rested his palm in order to write the graffiti.

He was asked what the graffiti meant and he said that as far as he could tell the markings symbolized basketball figures.

He went on to say that the graffiti was written in code. The LVPD brought in Hoot Edgewater from Poughkeepsie, New York who is known throughout the country as the gang graffiti whisperer.

Edgewater looked at the sign and right away he knew exactly what the graffiti symbols stood for. He said that they spelled out the words "Lakers Rule."

Las Vegas Chief of Police Linpark Piccarelli said that he is confident that he will be making an arrest as soon as the DNA comes back.

[EDITOR'S NOTE: The DNA results came back and the DNA on the palm print belonged to Coach Phil Jackson of the world champion Los Angeles Lakers. The LVPD has asked Mr. Jackson to please come in to answer one or six questions.]

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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