Written by Chuck Terzella
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Saturday, 10 July 2004

\=-President George W. Bush has admitted that he has a "practically nonexistent" relationship with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), citing as his reason that "Black Folks just seem to hate me" and has refused for the fourth consecutive year to address the organizations National Convention.

President Bush, speaking on the condition that racist white people vote for him in November said, "During the last campaign I went over to talk to those folks and you know what? They're all Black People! I was amazed; me and my Secret Service boys were the only White People in the room. I told my bodyguards right then and there to lock and load and be ready to move until they got me outta there. It was tense, I'll tell you."

After initially citing scheduling difficulties as the reason for the President's refusal to address the Convention, White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan admitted that the reason was that, "the current leadership of the NAACP has certainly made some rather hostile political comments about the President over the last few years."

NAACP President Kweisi Mfume responded saying, "Look, I don't know what that Cracker Klansmen thinks a hostile comment is, but just because I may have called him a Racist Neo-Con Honky and a Race Baiting White Boy doesn't mean I don't have the utmost respect for him as a man. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any respect for him, but that's not what those comments were meant to imply."

Unnamed White House Source Wegman (Pudgy) Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, " While we in the White House just love the stuffing out of Black Folks, just look at Condi Rice, Colin Powell and Elaine Chao, we don't particularly like guys with strange names that we can't pronounce like Kweisi Mfume. I mean what the hell kind of name is Kweisi? Why can't he have a name that President Bush can say, like Tyrone or Jackson? I think he calls himself that just to make George Bush look stupid."

When informed that Elaine Chao was Asian American not African American, Waterhouse, speaking on the condition of more anonymity said, " What difference does that make? She ain't White."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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