Encino CA-- Michael Jackson's tragic death will have at least some good results. Michael's will was announced today and it mandates that the Neverland Ranch be turned into the Michael Jackson School For Boys.
The school is open to any boy of any race between the ages of ten and fourteen. The teachers at the school will be the Jackson Family. They will provide the same nurturing background and loving environment that gave Michael such a joyful, stress-free life.
Students at the school will learn moonwalking and dancing backwards. Sports, rocket science and brain surgery are definitely not part of the curriculum. There is an extra-credit course for any boy who wants to change their race.
Jermaine Jackson will teach the boys mincing, lisping and make-up techniques. A special Summer School program on plastic surgery is also available.
Lunch at the school will never, ever be served. Boys are required to remain under 100 pounds at all times. Only pills will be allowed as food. The school doctor will inject drugs directly into the hearts of any little boy too frail to swallow any pills.
Any boy that survives the school will be given a gold coffin as a graduation present. The Jackson Family hopes to turn out dozens of Michael Jackson clones every year, at least for the next 1,000 years.