Written by Don Fulsom
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Thursday, 9 July 2009

In accordance with his wishes, Michael Jackson will be buried in a special crypt at Boys Town in Omaha, Nebraska.

"I loved little boys so much," the dead "King of Pop" said in a secret suicide note found in his purse at his autopsy, "I want to be near them even in death."

He asked that there be a fountain attached to his tomb that dispenses "Jesus Juice." In fact, Jackson declared, "I killed myself to be closer to these sweet, innocent young lads because I was getting so old-and my nose was about to fall off-that was the only way I felt I could continue to be in their presence. "

Jackson said he drank two quarts of Jesus Juice, then shot himself up with huge doses of Heroin because he was so depressed over people attacking him as a drug-addled pervert and a pedophile.

Jackson said another fountain at his crypt will dispense the magical reproductive juices that allowed him to have white children of his own--the type he most liked to molest.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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