Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Saturday, 11 July 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Pet Chimp Bubbles To Appear In A Commercial
Michael Jackson's pet chimpanzee Bubbles at Neverland's monkey house watching an old Tarzan movie.

NEW YORK CITY - Michael Jackson's pet chimpanzee Bubbles has just been signed by the famed William Morris Talent Agency.

The 28-year-old chimpanzee will be appearing in a commercial for Chiquita Bananas.

Aspen Zumahorn the director of the commercial said that Bubbles will be playing the part of Tarzan and Jane's pet chimp Cheeta.

In the commercial Bubbles will be shown swinging through the Zimbabwean jungles while holding a monkey wrench in his mouth, a Chiquita banana in his left hand, and a provocatively revealing 8 by 10 glossy photograph of Jane in his right hand.

Zumahorn said that Bubbles will not be using a stunt monkey for any of his stunts. He added that as Bubbles is swinging from vine to vine Zimbabwean natives (actual natives not actors) will be shooting poison darts at him in an attempt to capture him and sell him to a traveling Norwegian Circus.

In the commercial Johnny Depp will be portraying Tarzan and Lindsay Lohan will be playing the part of Jane. Both actors will be required to learn Zimbabwean, at least a little conversational Zimbabwean.

Simbad Quackenbush, who is Bubbles' trainer and guardian, said that the Michael Jackson Estate will receive $807,000 for Bubbles' participation in the commercial. Quackenbush said tongue-in-cheek that Bubbles will do very well in the monkey business.

He was asked how Bubbles was getting along. He stated that Bubbles is doing okay. Quackenbush remarked that Bubbles is still not eating much of his monkey food. But he adds that hopefully before too long Bubbles will be back to his old self and start monkeying around again.

Bubbles and Michael were very close, in fact one of the Neverland maids, Mascarita Escobedo, 39, confided that at times Michael and Bubbles would both use the same toothbrush, lipstick, and underwear.

Escobedo said that MJ and Bubbles used to sit and watch old Tarzan movies together. She said that Michael once told his best friend Elizabeth Taylor that Bubbles had actually memorized every single monkey sound that Cheeta made in all of the 49 Tarzan movies.

Michael's sister LaToya even revealed for the very first time that Bubbles actually played the tambourine and the cow bell on several songs on Michael's 'Bad' album.

SIDENOTE: Mickey Dolenz of the 60s band The Monkees has been signed to write the background music for the Chiquita banana commercial.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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