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Thursday, 9 July 2009

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Branson, MO-Four inmates who escaped from Oklahoma on Thursday were caught Friday in Branson. Because, if you ever escape from prison you should go directly to Branson, MO where dreams come true.

The men were caught in pairs at different times of the day in various tourist attractions.

Two were stopped on West Missouri 76 by a Branson police officer as they were reading pulling into Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede Friday, according a press release issued by the Branson Police Department.

The duo had just finished a stint at The Track where they raced go-carts against tourists and were kicked out for reckless driving and spitting on other drivers as they passed.

"I heard that the Longhorns were back and we were looking to rustle a few to make some easy money," said one recaptured convict who was on the lamb, but is now off the lamb and again a captured convict with a criminal record who is intent on committing crime.

The other pair of men was nearly captured after cutting in line at Silver Dollar City's ride, the Flooded Mine, however officers became confused and started shooting at targets instead of the escaped men.

"I scored 58,000 points on that ride with my standard issued revolver," said Lt. Manfred Jonser, "I mean I missed like two targets!" The escaped convicts were apprehended after they tried to hijack the train.

One of the convicts reflected, "I was going to run the train into the Powder Keg and send us all to hell." When informed that Powder Keg was just a ride and not really a giant repository for explosive black power he said, "we crap, I was shot for nothing during the train robbery attempt and now I have a new belly-button…I can't keep the one I got clean!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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