Washington, DC - A secret White House memo has been obtained by me. Setting out in detail the "Czaration" of United States Government, it clearly outlines the virtual castration of the US Congress as an effective policy making and pork producing body.
Starting immediately on the President returning from the G8 Summit, there is to be a blizzard of sound bites emphasizing Obama's role in keeping the system under his control and not have them run off into some form of super secret assemblage of zealous regulators.
Naming Michael Moore as his "Czar of Czars" Moore will assure all that the group will be organized with three Grand Czarpersons each having separate responsibilities; foreign affairs related Czars, domestic related Czars and lastly the annoyance group of Czars (this in where you will find the US Smoking Police and Sugary Soda Sheriffs).
Direct supervision of staff (The Czardines) will be the job of the thirty four Czars and Czarinas appointed to date though more may be appointed as the need arises.
President has named Janet Reno, CEO of WACO Barbeque Sauce Inc., as Czarina of the Religious Oversight and Monitoring Agency. She has said that she will institute a program immediately to rid the land of overt Christian symbols. First on her list? The small shrines or grottoes of the Blessed Virgin seen in front yards all over the country.
Quoting Czarina Reno, "The Czardines of ROMA will be fanning out across the land like piss ants on a hot stove and demolishing or taking away these offensive "bathtub Marys".
Comment was lacking from the White House on Czarina Reno's statements as the wind turbine powering the teleprompter was inactive due to lack of a breeze.