Khanty-Mansiysk,Siberia-Long time white house correspondent Helen Thomas awoke with a start from a twenty year nap to discover that a communist had taken over the presidency. The visibly disturbed Ms. Thomas then launched into a horrendous verbal assault of the poor,innocent, White House Spokesman Colon Powell.
Mr. Powell was caught entirely by surprise. "I had never seen her in an awake state before!" he exclaimed, "That in itself was rather frightening, but then she started yelling incoherently like some kind of demented Sarah Palin. I almost fainted.".
A press corps member who wished to remain anonymous, described it differently, saying that: "At first, Mr. Powell looked like the proverbial "deer caught in the headlights", but then his lip started quivering and he bawled inconsolably until someone contacted his former nanny by phone. Her soothing voice seemed to calm him down enough for Mr. Powell to end the briefing, but Colon was still sniffling when he left the podium.".
For her part, Ms. Thomas was eventually reassured that everything was alright and went back to sleep. The White House has since warned members of the press corps to "speak only in soft tones, and never, ever, disturb Ms. Helen Thomas when she's sleeping,ever again!"