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Tuesday, 7 July 2009

image for Sanford Accepted as First Democratic SC Governor in 50 Years!
"Yes I am One...But I'm Still the Governor!" SC Headline Sez It All!

Greenville, SC/ Far Left Puffington Post Blog - Claiming that it was just another Fraternity Initiation Road Trip, former Republican Governor Mark Sanford, celebrated today as he announced he was accepted by the DNC to be a full fledged Democrat after passing stringent
initiation tests.

During a rambling 3 hour interview preceded by guest speakers John Edwards, Elliot Spitzer, Jesse Jackson, and a loving testimonial from Jennifer Flowers, Sanford was welcomed into the Democrat Fraternity after disavowing family values, and admitting to romances with at least 4 women, other than his wife, almost a record for a born again southern Christian.

Sanford says he is totally comfortable switching sides and will continue to reside in the Governor's mansion and finish out his term.

The Governor recently had the locks changed due to a real respect for his wife who happens to be an heiress of a company that manufactures implements like sawzals, electric drills, rotary hammers , utility knives and bolt cutters, instruments that are often used for dressing out wild game in South Carolina.

Sanford apologized for any misunderstanding of communications during his 7 day absence from the state which sparked the initial controversy.

He asked the press not to blame his staff for saying he was walking the Appalachian Trail, when he had in fact truthfully said he was "off to Argentina for a little tail." Sanford blamed it on an inferior cell phone relay tower that had recently been nationalized by Hugo Chavez.


Replying to questions, Sanford agreed, that yes, he was still a little sore after having his bare ass swatted with rolled wet towels in the locker room, having his stomach pumped from chugging 3 pitchers of margaritas and eating 2 pounds of deep fried green tomatoes during the all night hazing and indoctrination ceremonies, but aside from a chafed dick he incurred during his road trip, he expected to be able to resume his duties as governor immediately after being resworn by VP Joe Biden.

"Say it ain't so Joe" was making a special trip to SC for a Michael Jackson Tribute Golf Tournament, and thought he would do the honors, if he could just remember the" f**** oath."

This time, the Governor said, he would have the full support of a formerly divided state legislature now that they had gotten a taste, and were deep into, some of Obama's Fine Pulled Pork.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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