The whole world is wondering why Sarah Palin stood down from the lofty post of Artic Circle Viceroy, a post that often has led to the pinnacle of power, Fish and Game Warden of the Northwest territory. Palin may be about to be indicted for a variety of high crimes and misdemeanors and her resignation may be motivated by the deep shit she's about to abut.
One source said that the federal agency for the proper speaking of Americanese had prepared a detailed legal brief charging Palin with reviving so many long dead trivialism that she deserves no less than a lengthy prison sentence or at least a gag: Gee whiz, golly, gosh, you're darn tootin' and Heavens to Betsy were just some of the fatigued verbiage that palin ridiculously revived.
Others claim that the indictment will come down for violation of a little known federal statute that demands that public figures with absurdly embarassing lives should quietly go away. If this is the basis for her upcoming charges prosecuters might cite:
1) lolling a newborn on your arm like a rag doll at public events long past any reasonable bedtime.
2) lolling a pregnant teen daughter along with her dead beat sperm donor at historic events that deserve some adult dignity
3) marrying a snowblower salesman and not staying home to live out the painful consequences and enjoy the clean driveway and front yard path
Palin's lawyer firm, Dewey, Cheathem and Howe has warned all free speech outlets in the lower 48 to cease and desist from calling any further humiliating attention to Ms Palin or her family as they have proven themselves quite capable of making fools of themselves all by theirselves.