Written by Renn K. Losan
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Topics: Washington

Thursday, 8 July 2004

image for Bush Drops Out!
Moore and Phil taking Bush and Cheney's place on the ballet.

Washington (July 8) --- This morning President Bush announced that he will be dropping out of this years presidential election.
"I don't want to be in office for the next four years." Bush told us "Maybe next term after somebody cleans up that economy in which I promptly destroyed throughout my term."

That leaves the republicans to find a new candidate. And who did they ask? None other than one of Bush's well known enemies, Michael Moore! Who unbelievable said yes!

We talked to him. He told me, "Hating Bush was just an act. We've been planning this for a long time. Years even. Bush got into office, found it to be a lot more work then he anticipated. We made a deal that I would run the next term. However we wanted it to stay out of public eye. My fellow republicans said I had to act like I hated Bush so them Demies wouldn't see it coming. Anyway I really do feel that I can shape this nation that Bush so wonderfully tore down."

Now the question is who will be Mr. Moore's running mate? Will they stick with Cheney? "Actually," said a republican spokeswoman, "we aren't sure who his running mate will be. We don't want it to be Cheney. They just don't look good together. We have been thinking about Dr. Phil, Ken Lay, Bill Cosby, and Steve Rauschenberger, who is currently the Illinois senator. They would all be great candidates. We are however leaning towards Phil."

I then spoke to the doctor. "They are thinking about me. I would be a good running mate. I have a Ph.D. and with my people skills how can I lose! Not to mention I'm from Texas, the current Presidents home state." Dr. Phil told me.

What did the Democrats have to say? We spoke to a democratic spokesman who told us, "Well, they are worthy candidates and we honestly didn't see it coming. Many people like Dr. Phil from his hit TV show and Michael Moore is a very creative but controversial guy. Voters might like his edge. However we feel that the majority will like our play-it-safe ways. We're far more grounded then the republicans!"

How do voters feel? Only time can determine that.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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