Sarah Palin has decided to become a televangelist, say reliable sources close to the retiring Alaska governor.
"She hopes to build a Christian TV empire of the size that Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker once had. Except the governor's won't keep two sets of books," the sources emphasized.
On her last day in office, these sources add, the governor "wants to get ready for her TV gig by tricking Alaskan taxpayers into paying for Lasik surgery … so she doesn't have to wear those cheap Lenscrafters that make her eyes look so gigantic."
Palin reputedly purchased a list of suckers conned by Jim and Tammy's PTL in the 1980s. The Bakkers took in about $130-million dollars-a-year at the height of their infamy.
Palin told several friends she'd love to have an air-conditioned dog house like Tammy Faye, but she pledged to "wear only simple frocks, not the kind of fancy Macy's suits that John McCain forced me to dress up in."