Saddam Hussein has confirmed that should he be elected as the next president of the United States, he will immediately invade "those Canadian dogs".
And that's not all - If you vote for Saddam now, not only will Canada suffer an invasion but Mexico will be gassed and all credit to South America will be suspended.
In this thrilling preview into a Saddam administration, the Gulpher (Gipper from the Gulf), confirms that every Thursday "we'll be priming the ICBMs and taking the Ruskis through the defcons". That should keep 'em hopping.
The Gulpher admitted that it won't all be fun and excitement. There will be days when the serious business of government needs to be conducted. Just one example, off the top of his head, was withdrawing a billion dollars in cash from the treasury and making a mad dash for a spidey hole. Sort of a trip down memory lane.
Fortunately those interuptions will be few and far between. Saddam plans to excite and entertain America. A great gag he has planned, is to fire ICBMs at countries without a nuclear capability but leave the warheads unarmed. Can you imagine how hilarious it will be when the Swiss find out that they're not really armed?
If you think that's funny wait until he confirms to the Australians that the USS Rooseveldt a nuclear submarine didn't really leak enough radiation to wipe out their population 5 times over. Bet that will get them jumping.
What about his frantic call to the Japenese government to confirm that one of our aircraft carrier's brakes have failed and it will plough through most of Japan before it stops.
Don't know how he thinks them up but I for one cannot wait for the Gulpher to hit the oval office.