President Obama, speaking from the Oval Office has decreed that Independence Day 2009 is not to be celebrated and that July 4 is to be deleted from all calendars.
"This is part of my Economic Stimulus Package" the President explained. "I expect the Information Technology Industry to experience a huge surge of activity as all computers will have to be reset to repeat July 3".
President Obama went on to state that since July 3 has never been a Public Holiday in the United States, he sees no reason for anyone to take the day off this year.
The US Civil Service, having begun its traditional Independence Day vacation on June 20 was unavailable for comment.