Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Thursday, 2 July 2009

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The Famous Knife

Encino CA-- The knife O.J. Simpson used to murder his wife Nicole Simpson and her friend Ron Goodman has been recovered from the Neverland Ranch. The knife was found underneath a mattress in the main bedroom of the sprawling estate. Detectives believe it has been at Neverland since the brutal double slayings in 1994. The blood-stained knife is now at police headquarters being tested for fingerprints.

Los Angeles detectives believe Michael bought the knife only a few days after the murders. Michael's attorney in the early 1990's was Johnny Cochran, the central attorney on Simpson's 'dream team'. Apparently, Mr. Cochran sold the knife to Michael for $1,000,000.00 in 1994 after he took it from O.J. Simpson. Michael also gave Mr. Cochran thousands of dollars every year as a 'gift' until the attorney died several years ago.

The gruesome knife was one of Michael's most beloved possessions. He kept it next to the Elephant Man's bones and Napoleon's penis. Other odd items in Michael's collection include George Washington's teeth, JFK's black book and dozens of dirty diapers from the Octomom's babies.

When detectives raided the Neverland Ranch in 2005 regarding a molestation complaint, Michael simply put the knife in the kitchen, hiding it in plain sight. The detectives never had a clue it was there.

Another link to the slayings was also made today by detectives. It turns out Ron Goldman visited the Neverland Ranch many times in 1981 when he was eleven years old.

Michael's location on the night of the murders is still unknown. Detective's believe Michael could have been stalking Ron Goldman and he could have participated in the slayings with O.J. on that fateful night.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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