Written by Valmerk
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Thursday, 2 July 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Chimp Bubbles Lands Job At Starbucks
Good coffee, Bubbles.

Things are finally looking up for Bubbles, the unemployed pet chimpanzee of the late Michael Jackson. After days of frantic searching, he has obtained every American chimp's dream job. Bubbles now holds the title of coffee barista at Starbucks. Every weekday morning you can see him grinding beans at the nearby Starbucks in downtown Los Angeles.

A mutual friend told us, "Bubbles ws pretty down to earth and did not view Michael as an ulimited source of bananas. He knew Michael's health was failing and that one day he would have to put himself back in the job market. When that day finally came, it was still a shock. For the past few months he has been reviving old coffee bunisess friendships and attending human behavioral training at the LA Zoo. He's known on Linkedin as Mr. Bubbles Jermaine Jackson. When the Starbucks position became available, everything just fell into place. The timing was perfect, because Mrs. Katherine Jackson, Michael's mother, was just about to serve eviction papers to his thatched treehouse in Neverland."

Sitting inside the Starbucks, one customer told us, "He was amazingly professional and courteous, even though he was unable to speak. He wouldn't stop smiling. He often howled and bared his teeth, and refused to put down the banana flavored syrup bottle. He couldn't stop shaking it and we thought he was going to hit someone in the head with it. He leaped up on the counter and beat his chest while I was ordering. After he over-charged me for my coffee, he made sure to shove the tip jar in my face. He was just like any other Starbucks employee. Perfect!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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