A group calling themselves The Reaganites are preparing to take over the leadership of America.
The group, led by some top Talk Radio hosts such as Rush Limbaugh have apparently kept a huge quaintity of weapons stored in caves all through Kentucky's Mammoth Cave and inside mountain hideaways out west.
"These people worship Ronald Reagan and have even gotten the Commanders of nuclear subs on their side", stated Bill O'Reilly, who claims he just came across the information completely by accident. "The total nuclear missiles on those subs are equal to those on land, so these guys aren't kidding."
President Obama said that their demands were rediculous until one of the lesser of the Florida Keys disappeard overnight.
They have selected a leader they will appoint that is as close to Reagan as possible, rumored to be a clone, plus 10 new members for the Senate and 35 more for Congress.
"We are taking back America from the very edge of socialism", Limbaugh reportedly reported from the hidden headquarters of the Limbaugh Institute.
Meanwhile, Sean Hannity is claiming that "Ronald Reagan is officially a saint because of three proven miracles: 1. He forgot his name while negotiating in the former USSR even though he was wearing it on his shirt badge. 2. He levitated off his chair while talking to office staff which leads us to #3. The fart killed a staff member but revived when Reagan sneezed and ex-President Jerry Ford walked in the door and fell over the staffer, kneeing him in the gut while fresh air came in through the door."
"The man later told witnesses that he was already halfway through 'a tunnel of light, but smelling like a sewer" when the sneeze and knees brought him back."
At present, the only person "left" in the White House to defend it is Barack Obama's mother-in-law, with a frown on her face and a rolling pin in her hand.