Los Angeles - (Rioters): "We reckon Sony Music hitman George W Bush topped the real Jackson, circa 1989," an FBI investigator into Michael Jackson's death commented today.
The Federal probe has spread to Bush's Predator Chapel Ranch in Waco, Texas after following LA pathology findings.
These threw up (literally, barf!) startling similarities between the tribute act's DNA and the former president.
Bush is also at the (hard)core of an escalating row about forged wills attributed to the deceased singer.
But his legendary stonewalling capacity hasn't deterred the Feds who are determined to go all the way to a Grand Jury if neccesary.
Attempts to quiz the former Commander in Chief about millions of dollars' Beatles Songbook ownership litigation have been vigorously rebuffed by frantic executive priviledge hogwash.
"He's gulity as hell," Our Man Inside the Bureau commented, "him and his stooges Jermane and Joe."