Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 10 July 2009

image for The 2009 Miley Cyrus - Amy Winehouse Tour
A recent snapshot of a just bathed Amy Winehouse in her backyard playing hide and seek with herself.

LONDON - In what some music critics are calling probably the most unusual pairing of performers to ever go on tour Miley Cyrus and Amy Winehouse will be kicking off their tour next month in Calcutta, India.

The Cyrus-Winehouse Tour which is being dubbed as The 2009 Bubbly & Ugly Concert Tour will cover 72 cities in 72 days.

The tour sponsors include The Hannah Montana Autographed Lunchbox Company, The Amy Winehouse Do-It-Yourself Seven Easy Steps Self-Tattooing Kit Company, and OctuMom's Octuplets Designer Diapers (which come in 16 babyish colors).

Miley was interviewed by Ryan Seacrest who asked her how she felt about her upcoming tour with the one and only Amy Winehouse. Miley giggled and said that she was somewhat scared.

When Seacrest asked her why she was scared Miley quickly shot back, "Ryan...dude have you not gotten a good look at the woman. I mean like wow, no make that like wowers. She has more tattoos than most NBA basketball players.

She has more piercings than most Goth gals. And she has multiple bruises, cuts, scrapes, abrasions, scratches, and assorted boo-boos all over her body.

The girl is a walking commercial for Band-Aid Sheer Strips."

Seacrest shook his head and said that he could not argue with her.

Miley laughed, took a sip from her green tea and said, that she was not even going to mention about the inside of her mouth.

Ryan asked Miley what her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus, thought about his 'little girl' going on tour with 'big girl' Amy.

Miley rolled her eyes and told Seacrest that there was no way that she was going to repeat the dozens of curse words, phrases, cliches, and slanguage that her daddy had uttered.

Seacrest also interviewed Winehouse and he asked her what she thought about touring with 16-year-old Miley Cyrus. Winehouse asked "Who?'

"Miley Cyrus."

"Molly Cyprus?"

"Okay Amy...one more time and this time try to pay attention okay? Ah Amy can you please put down the bottle of pills please."

"Yes, but they're just Vitamin C tablets, okay Mr. Smarty Pants."

"Fine. So tell me what do you think about going on tour with M-i-l-e-y C-y-r-u-s?

"Don't be a smart aleck Seabiscuit. You do not have to spell out words to me. I can figure out spelling. But to answer your question.

"I have no problem going on tour with Milli Vanilli. I know that a few years ago they were both convicted of unlawful lip-syncing and kangaroo molestation but they paid their dues to society and they are out now."

And speaking of being out now...Seacrest out.

In other news. Governor Sarah Palin, again denied the rumors that her husband Todd and the 27-year-old salmon fishing guide Nanicka Zapalicka are having an affair.

Palin reportedly said, "Ya know, I don't know why the mainstream media is making such a big thing out of this. I'm sure that there are a lot of husbands who come home at 3 in the morning with lipstick on their boxer shorts and it doesn't mean a goldarn thing."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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