Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 5 July 2009

image for Movie Studio To Release The Unreleased Michael Jackson - Angelina Jolie Movie
Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft in her latest movie, Lara Croft - The Search For The Moonwalker.

HOLLYWOOD - Touchstone Pictures in association with Up The Creek Productions has said that they will be releasing Michael Jackson's last motion picture.

The film which starred Angelina Jolie as the main character in the Lara Croft adventure series was titled, Lara Croft - The Search For The Moonwalker.

In the movie, Michael Jackson portrays Lara Croft's biological brother Shuffles Croft.

Shuffles is kidnapped by a diabolical band of Hollywood choreographers and is taken to a double-wide trailer located in Pacoima, California.

While in captivity, Shuffles is tortured by being made to dance waltzes, square dances, and the dreaded hokey pokey.

Shuffles in desperation screams out that he'll tell them what they want to hear. One of the choreographers Bruce Lipplicker tells Shuffles that they don't really want to hear anything and that they just want a $7 million ransom.

The kidnappers become angry that Shuffles does not think that they are serious. The threaten to get really though with him and force him to do the Macarena. Shuffles starts crying and begs, "Please, I beg you, not the Macarena, anything but the Macarena."

While the kidnappers and Shuffles sit in the Pacoima double-wide Lara Croft and her two assistants Julius and Sid, played by Johnny Depp and Joaquin Phoenix break in and rescue Shuffles.

Shuffles is so thrilled at getting rescued that he runs out in the street and starts doing the moon walk in his boxer shorts.

Not to give away the movie plot or anything, but Lara and Shuffles find out from a loose-lipped aunt that they are not really biological brother and sister.

Lara and Shuffles are totally shocked. Lara then drives Shuffles to her heroine hideout in Topanga Canyon where she seduces him and makes him promise to marry her if she becomes pregnant.

In sports news. Kobe Bryant has told the latest Laker edition, Ron Artest that he can stay at his mansion until he finds a place to stay. The only stipulation that Bryant makes is that Artest not touch any of the three maids.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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