Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Sunday, 28 June 2009

image for Diana Ross Wants Custody Of Michael Jackson's Pet Chimp Bubbles
Michael Jackson's all-time favorite pet, Mr. Bubbles (photo courtesy of Sean Hannity).

NEW YORK CITY - Diana Ross, of the 60s African-American trio known as Diana Ross and The Supremes has begged Macaulay Culkin for custody of Michael Jackson's beloved chimpanzee Bubbles.

Earlier reports stated that Michael Jackson had left everything to his devoted little friend Macaulay Culkin.

Culkin, who won Oscars for his roles in Home Alone, Home Alone 2, and Home Alone 7, said that he is honored to be the recipient of all of Michael Jackson's belongings.

He especially expressed joy at now being the sole owner of the Beatles Song Library, which was written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney.

Jackson also owned the music libraries of The Rolling Stones; The Who; Crosby, Stills, Nash, & Young; Ludwig Van Beethoven; and Petula Clark, which of course are now the sole property of Macaulay Culkin.

Miss Ross who said that she and Michael were so close that he could have been her biological son said that Michael had a lot of pets.

She said that MJ's pet tarantula Mr. Pooper once bit her on one of her droopers (she said that she believed that it was the left one).

Miss Ross said that another time his pet rat Ben, whom his hit song was named after, tried to kiss her on the mouth while she was eating a cheeseburger.

But even though, most of Michael's 28 pets did give her the creeps, she was always very fond of his pet chimpanzee Bubbles. Ross said that Bubbles got his name from the Lawrence Welk Show, which Michael loved watching.

Ross said that MJ had confided to her that he had actually gotten the ideas for the songs "ABC," "I Want You Back," and "Billie Jean" from watching the Lawrence Welk Show.

Michael Jackson's attorney Erasmus Rainmaster has informed Miss Ross, that Macaulay Culkin has agreed to turn over custody of MJ's pet chimpanzee to her.

In other news. American Idol's Kris Allen and Adam Lambert have agreed to travel to Iceland and entertain the 35 American troops that are stationed there.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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