LAKE CHARLES, Louisiana - WaldoMarket, the world's largest public retail corporation has announced that it has completely sold out of Michael Jackson Bobblehead Dolls.
WaldoMarket Senior Vice-Assistant Executive CEO Caylee Shiloh Impelliterri said that the total number of Michael Jackson Bobblehead Dolls that were sold world-wide is in the neighborhood of 800 million.
She said that in the WaldoMarket located in Matsuyama, Japan, customers were karate-chopping each other to get the amazingly sought after dolls, which were retailing for $37.98.
Some of the Michael Jackson Bobblehead Dolls are now starting to show up on eBay and are selling for as much as $7,000.
One 93-year-old French-Japanese lady, Fifi Kushikawa reportedly kicked the Matsuyama WaldoMarket store manager who had informed her that there was a two-doll per customer limit.
When store manager Robbie Sukiyaki was kicked by Kushikawa he fell against a Coke Zero display causing Coke Zero to spill all over aisle's 17 and 18 and injuring 9 shoppers.
There are as yet unconfirmed reports that 93-year-old Kushikawa had to be tasered...three times!
Impelliterri has promised all WaldoMarket's dedicated and devoted customers that each and every store will have new shipments of Michael Jackson Bobblehead Dolls coming in from the store's bobblehead doll factory in Walla Walla, Washington within 48 hours.
Meanwhile in other news, Republican Governor Mark Sanford of South Carolina says he is growing tired of answering the same questions over and over about his sultry Argentinian mistress.
He says that he will give the answers to the five most asked questions one more time.
3. Diet Dr. Pepper
4. La Reina De Las Pampas (the Queen of the Pampas) and
5. Yes, the carpet does match the drapes