HOLLYWOOD - Universal Pictures has just signed Jaime Foxx and Gary Coleman to star in The Michael Jackson Story.
Coleman will portray Michael from the ages of 9 through 21, and Foxx will portray Michael from the age of 21 on.
Jackson's parents will be played by Morgan Freeman and Oprah Winfrey. Morgan said that he has read a lot about Michael's father, Joe Jackson and he says that he will have to practice at being a mean son-of-a-gun, but he says that being the fantastically talented and gifted actor that he is it really should be a piece of cake.
Winfrey said that she met Michael's mom on several occasions and she stated that Katherine taught her how to make southern dishes such as Alabama Style Chitlin's, Ozark Mountain Collared Greens, Mississippi Delta Ham Hocks, and Chattanooga Cornbread.
Oprah said that Katherine is one of the nicest women she has ever met, even nicer than Gladys Knight, but not as nice as Whoopi Goldberg.
Jaime Foxx said that he has always idolized 'The Gloved One.' He said that he remembers at the tender age of three listening to the radio and singing along with Michael and the Jackson Five on songs like "Shoo-Be-Doo-Be-Doo-Da-Day" and "Boo-Ba-Boo-Ba-Loomba-Bo-Ba-Baby-Boo-Boo-Boobarinos."
He said that he recalls when he first saw Michael do the moonwalk. He said that he tried it and he fell on his ass. He got up and tried it again, and again he fell on his ass. He said that after the 43rd time he was able to half-ass master it.
Foxx said that he has so much respect and admiration for Jackson that he named his first born after him. He said that Michael Jackson Foxx is now a beautiful little, well-adjusted 8-year-old girl.
He remarked that he named his second child after Michael's biggest selling album. He added proudly that Thriller Foxx is now a good-looking little, well-adjusted 7-year-old boy.
Coleman said that he has always looked up to Michael Jackson. He then added that at 4 foot 1 he pretty much looks up to everybody except for maybe Danny DeVito, Billy Barty, Tom Cruise, Dustin Hoffman, and Sponge Bob Square Pants.
Gary said that he remembers Michael giving him an autographed photo of him and Snow White and The Seven Drafts all sitting in Michael's bed eating kettle popcorn, grapes, twinkies, and guacamole dip.
The Michael Jackson Story should be released in early August. The parts of Michael's sisters Janet and LaToya will be played by Alicia Keys and Britney Spears.
Lisa Marie Presley will be portrayed by Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay's "Boyfriend" Samantha Ronson is being cast as Michael's older brother Tito.
Jermaine Jackson will be played by Denzel Washington and older brother Randy Jackson will be portrayed by American Idol judge Randy Jackson.
Longtime Michael Jackson mentor Diana Ross will portray herself as will Dick Clark, Glen Campbell, Condoleezza Rice, Joe Namath, and Cloris Leachman.
In other news. President Obama was asked how many flies he has killed lately. The president smiled and replied, "On the record zero, off the record 17."