Written by Stuart Gilbert
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Topics: Death

Wednesday, 20 March 2002

Murderer and insane crazy b*tch Andrea Yates has been found dead in her cell. Security camera footage has shown her mother running in with a knife and stabbing her repeatedly in the chest screaming "I'm sorry, I'm just a bad mother!!!"

The footage has been shown on news around the globe and has caused celebrations in the streets.

Police are investigating the crime scene and as yet have not managed to come up with a possible killer, a murder weapon or any other evidence pointing to anybody.

Police man, Constable Bobby, was interviewed at the crime scene earlier today.

"We have no leads as yet but we are keeping a look out for any suspicious activity" he said as he pulled a knife out of her chest with "Maurene (Andrea's mother)" written on the side.

It seems that nobody is really interested in what happens to Andrea Yates.

Not that I like to editorialise but I personally hope she is burned while people dance around her burning body. The date of her death should be made a public holiday. Children wil celebrate, possibly singing tunes like the ever popular:

"2 4 6 8 who do we really hate ANDREA, ANDREA, ANDREA!!!!!!!"

Or the newly unveiled:

"Who is a murdering crazy psycho b*tch?
Andrea Yates is, Andrea Yates is!
Who is gonna burn in hell for all eternity?
Andrea Yates is, Andrea Yates is!
Who gets spat on as she walks down death row?
Andrea Yates does, Andrea Yates does!"

I should imagine that people will be sticking to the classic though.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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