Written by Hydrogen Balloon
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Saturday, 27 June 2009

image for Michael Jackson's Body Unclaimed, Buried In Potter's Field
No Fancy Funeral For Michael

Los Angeles CA-- No one from the Jackson Family claimed Michael's body today, so the King of Pop was buried in a pauper's grave in Potter's Field. Everybody was too busy with reporters or too busy checking bank balances to make funeral arrangements.

The gray, drizzly Los Angeles skies were a perfect backdrop to the pathetic funeral. Michael was buried in an unmarked mass grave with five Jane Doe's and two John Smith's. Only a non-denomination minister, two grave-diggers and some bored pigeons attended the depressing ceremony. A layer of quicklime was put on top of the communal grave afterwards to aide decomposition. The city will use the same plot next month for more unfortunate souls.

Clair Washington was the minister at the ceremony and spoke exclusively with TheSpoof.com for a $5.00 fee.

"It's a little sad, I know." said Clair. "We tried contacting the family but no one could spare the time to talk with us. They seem like very rude people. We finally contacted Michael's manager. He seemed delighted the city would bury Michael for free. Poor Michael." she said wistfully.

Clair explained the city buries homeless people, indigents and other lost souls when no one claims the body. The Potter's Field is between the town dump and a sewage treatment plant. Clair is a city worker and makes about $8.00 an hour. She conducts the same sad ceremony once a week.

"So there won't be any headstone or memorials or flowers for Michael, too bad. Can I have my $5.00 now? It's lunchtime and I'm going to Mickey D's." said Clair as she held out her hand.

The sewage treatment plant belched acrid fumes into the gray skies above the fresh grave as garbage trucks dumped their loads nearby. We both walked to Mickey D's for lunch, and Michael was soon forgotten.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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