Written by Dan Margherita
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Wednesday, 7 July 2004

image for Cheney Picks Bush For 2004 Ticket

Gaithersburg, MD (July 7) --- Not to be outdone now that the Democratic ticket is in place, Vice President Dick Cheney announced early this morning that George Bush would once again join his ticket as the Republican presidential nominee. "He's a known entity, he's clean and he comes when he's called," Cheney told a gaggle of supporters at the Holiday Inn in Montgomery Village, Maryland. "He's someone I can work with."

There had been some speculation that Senator John McCain would replace Mr. Bush on the 2004 ticket, until word got out that he was on Democratic nominee John Kerry's VP list. "I guess since the Kerry people wanted him, the senator must be pretty good but it just wouldn't have been fair," said RNC spokesperson Fred Strolle. "I mean, he's a Republican, isn't he? We had him first." McCain, of course, eventually turned down the democratic nod weekly during May and early June but, by then, his credibility with Cheney was shot and the damage done. Said Strolle, "'The Big Dick' never forgets."

Still-The-President Bush was clearly delighted at hearing the news particularly after being reassured that, if he wins, he gets to keep the same big house, helicopter and jet that he has been using for the last four years. "I'm not surprised that he didn't understand how the system works. Presidential reelection is uncharted waters for the Bushes," said Strolle.

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