LOS ANGELES, CA - Authorities in Southern California today were inundated with hundreds of calls concerning a mysterious angel hovering above the ocean in San Diego and Los Angeles area communities, clogging 911 lines.
Dubbed "Charlie's Angel," the apparition is easily recognizable as recently departed Farrah Fawcett, say witnesses, by its locks of feathered blond hair, the silhouette of two fantastically oversized nipples visible beneath her flowing white robes, and "a smile that gleams almost as bright as the sun," according to one Santa Barbara man.
"She's even prettier now than when she was alive," said a veteran pilot who was surprised to see the deceased icon hovering outside the cockpit of his plane, having to shield his eyes from the "the whitest teeth" he'd ever seen.
"She's probably smiling because she doesn't have to deal with the tabloids anymore," observed one woman from Oceanside, CA. "All that relentless hounding about her cancer is finally over now."
Carrie Prejean even turned out to see the ghostly glamour girl, falling to her knees in the sand before Fawcett's phantom, which surprised many considering Christian views on idolatry and the fact that, in playing a role that traditionally would have been filled by a male actor, Fawcett helped to break down antiquated gender roles once defined in large part by Christian values.