HOLLYWOOD - Tinseltown's notorious purveyor of scandalous celebrity blogging hors d'oeuvres Perez Hilton, has just received word that he has been picked to play the infamous blonde celebrity maven Paris Hilton on the silver screen in the Warner Brother's film, Paris Is Hot, But Barcelona's Not.
The infamous Perez Hilton was thrilled to hear the news. He said that it has been a rough summer for him so far. First he gets hit in the eye by Polo Molina, manager of the Black Eyed Peas while attending the Canadian Dog Sled Races up in Toronto.
And then he gets kicked by Miley Cyrus while he's minding his own business at a Redondo Beach Wendys.
And after that he hears that little Malia Obama told her grandmother that Perez Hilton looks a little bit like Elton John.
It is widely known that Perez cannot stand Elton John ever since the British singer ignored him at Clay Aiken's coming out party.
Perez was asked if he has spoken to Paris concerning the fact that he will be portraying her up on the silver screen. He said that Paris and him are BFF's, LOL's, XYX's, and IUD's.
He said that Paris has promised to show him how she achieves all of her mannerisms from the way she walks like she has her string bikini thong stuck up around her duodenum to the way she innocently says things like "I'm Paris and I'm Hot," "My daddy owns lots and lots of great big hotels," and "I am a whole lot prettier than that Tatertot Del Taco bitch (Tatiana Del Toro).
Perez has promised Paris that he will never ever again say anything derogatory about her in his blog. Even if it is something really juicy like when Paris was so drunk that she threw up all over her little Chihuahua Panchita, and Panchita jumped up and bit her on her left nipple.
Paris has also told Perez that in the interest of authenticity she will be providing him with a lot of her personal intimate items such as clothes, jewelry, underwear, feminine deodorant spray, shoes, travelers checks, an AK-47 assault rifle, and tampons.
In other news. The government of China has stated that it is getting very expensive to have to paint over all of the graffiti that people write on The Great Wall of China. So it has passed a resolution that Great Wall security guards have now been authorized to shoot anyone that they find 'tagging' the Great Wall with graffiti.