Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 24 June 2009

image for San Francisco Carnage: D.C. Metro Copycat Crashes BART Train
Trailing cars jackknifed onto boarding platform, killing four BART officers about to shoot passenger.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The horrific Metro crash in Washington D.C. was virtually replayed in San Francisco today when an underground BART train headed for downtown smashed into the rear of another at the height of evening rush hour, injuring scores of commuters.

The crash also killed four BART police officers, one of whom was just about to shoot a passenger in the back when the trailing cars jackknifed violently up onto the boarding platform, striking the officers.

Rescue workers had to cut open train cars to gain access to many of the injured, who scrambled to safety. More than sixty people were hospitalized, though the search continues at this time for more survivors.

So severe was the force of the impact that its effects were even felt above ground.

"I hur' dat mo'f*cker go SMACK!!" said a homeless man who was smoking crack at street level immediately above the point of impact when the crash occurred.

"Toot, toot, she's about to blow!! "KAPOW!!" he added excitedly, punching his palm with his fist for emphasis.

Authorities believe the terrible crash was the work of a "copycat." First recorded in 1912 after Jack the Ripper terrorized the London area, and glamourized in the late 60's by Charles Manson of California, the copycat effect "refers to the tendency of sensational publicity about violent crimes to result in more of the same through imitation."

Umm... you know what? Forget this whole article. Just forget you even read it.

Make The San Francisco Onion's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.




Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 plus 1?

3 6 4 24

Go to top