Written by Valmerk
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Wednesday, 24 June 2009

image for Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "Come to my Pampered Chef party!"
My bowls will pump, you up!

We all know that Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's state of California has been experiencing it's share of economic woes in recent months. There are far too many to list, but now he has come up with a revolutionary new idea designed to combat his state's catastrophic budget deficit. He is planning to host a "Pampered Chef" kitchenware party next Friday at 7:00 for 30 bored, yet lucky, middle aged housewives at his stately mansion in Sacramento.

Mr. Schwartzenegger told us, "I think it's the perfect match. Californian upper middle class women are so shallow and in denial about everything that they would jump at the chance to shop for useless overpriced kitchen gadgets. At my party, I will be demonstrating some never seen before items: a cutting board, a bowl, and and the inside of an oven. Each item costs only $500.00. I will begin hosting these parties weekly and donating my complimentary products to the state until we get this budget stuff under control."

This reporter qustioned Mr. Schwartzeneger about his ability to truly master the fine art of meaningless social posturing with these women. He responded, "I had a small test party last week. As we were sitting around the fireplace sipping champagne, I did feel a little left out when they started gossiping about their families."

He vowed, "Next time I'll start talking about how Maria never shaves her armpits and picks the dead skin off her feet every night. That should get me in. I'm even going to take my shirt off, accidentially spill Tuscan olive oil all over my body, and flex when I demonstrate my new silicone bakeware. The girls will be amazed that silicone can be used for so much more than lip injections and breast implants.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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