Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Tuesday, 23 June 2009

image for Stephen Baldwin High Tails It Off "I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here"
A three pound Costa Rican banana fish that Costa Rican insects can totally devour in two minutes.

COSTA RICA - Actor Stephen Baldwin willingly left the reality show "I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here."

Baldwin told Patricia Blagojevich, wife of ex-Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich that he had counted his insect bites and that he had 9,836. He said it had gotten so bad that he had bites on top of his bites.

He told Sanjaya Malakar of American Idol fame that one evening he noticed that two dung beetles were mating in his left ear.

But she said that the last straw was when he woke up one morning and he noticed that overnight an iguana had built a nest in his boxer shorts.

Show hosts Myleene Klass and Damien Fahey, who certainly get the prize for having the most unusual names on television, laugh and say that they get a kick out of watching all of these quasi-celebrities eat and drink the ugliest, filthiest, most nauseating insects and bugs on the planet.

Sanjaya told Torrie Wilson, the wrestler and Lou Diamond Phillips, aka Richie Valens, that it was weird going from eating T-bone steaks on American Idol to eating Praying Mantis ovaries on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here.

Torrie agreed and added that when she was a little girl growing up in Idaho she would regularly eat potato cooties out of sheer bordom. She said that compared to the insect crap found in the Costa Rican jungle she would eat potato cooties anytime.

As Baldwin was leaving the jungle he was asked what he would miss the most. He shook his head and replied that he would miss the way that he would have to piss in his pants to keep from getting mosquito bites on his wienerdongiticus.

In news coming out of the Kalahari Desert. The heat has been so unbearable that a camel herder reported seeing adult camels spitting on each other in an effort to keep cool.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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