Written by Terrell Manasco
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Topics: Movies, Government

Tuesday, 6 July 2004

image for US Agrees To Pay Moore To Stop Making Stupid Movies
I'm Gettin' PAID!

The U.S. Government has reportedly agreed to pay documentary filmmaker Michael Moore "a lot of cash" if he agrees to stop making stupid movies and moves to another country.

A spokesman for the White House who asked not to be named, confirms that Moore was offered an undisclosed sum of money to "stop making those stupid documentaries" and if he agrees to move to another country and remain out of the public eye. The source said U.S. President Bush was "pretty sick and tired of seeing his face everywhere" and authorized Congress to "pay that idiot off" so he would never have to look at him again. The President reportedly said, "We have an enemy, and we must remain strong, we must stay the course, we must get medieval on him. We will not fail. We will be victorious." The source would not comment on the amount offered.

The agreement, according to the source, is for Moore to never make another film again, "not even home movies", to never speak to reporters, appear on any television program or awards show, and to immediately leave the country permanently and never return.

Moore would not comment, in keeping with his agreement, but was spotted boarding an Iraqi Airways jet for an unknown destination.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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