HONOLULU, HI - The state of Hawaii unilaterally launched a missile at North Korea today, apparently as a preemptive measure against the DPRK's planned launch. Hawaii's launch was apparently carried out without the aid of the US military because, according to one Honolulu resident, "that wouldn't be a fair fight."
The missile was constructed from a sewer pipe and Mexican fireworks, a level of sophistication the North Koreans aren't expected to reach for another 'three to six years,' according to an unnamed source inside the Pentagon.
The low-tech missile struck Pyongyang at 8:31 AM, local time, destroying both the nation's only cell phone tower and three of the four buildings in North Korea known to have electricity.
While US President Barack Obama has not officially condoned or condemned Hawaii's actions, a clip circulating on YouTube shows Obama watching the destruction in real-time and chuckling.
The UN is reportedly considering sanctions against Hawaii.