Written by matwil
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Topics: America

Saturday, 20 June 2009

image for 'Plane Lands Safely in LA', in latest American news drama
Another heroic landing

An airliner today landed safely without incident in Los Angeles airport, in the USA, and within minutes television news teams descended on the area to interview any eye witnesses.

'It woz, lik, awzum', said one anonymous Californian, 'wun meeneet we were flyeeng, then we were landeeng, and now we are walkeeng to the bar. I theenk the pilot should be geeven a medal for this amazeeng feat.'

And another bystander added 'Guys that can land planes safely are heroes to me and to millions of Americans, maybe 'cos we don't have any real ones! Only joking, no, it's kinda awesome to think that just as the jet's tires touch the land the pilot has to risk everything, to let the autopilot take over and have a quick cigarette before taxiing in to the airport.'

This is just another in a long line of dramatic news stories about transport from the United States of America this year, as in May a ship's captain managed to sail his ship across the Atlantic and dock in New York without sinking, and was welcomed by thousands of cheering Americans, singing 'We Shall Overcome' and waving lots of pieces of colored cloth.

And in January an empty private DC111 jet remained parked at La Guardia airport for a week without crashing or bursting into flames, and the pilot - on holiday in France - was awarded the Unheroic Hero's medal by vice-President Joe Nobody.

Hollywood film director Steven Spielberg said at the latest news: 'I'm commissioning a scriptwriter to start work on my latest blockbuster, 'American Drama Queens', starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, whose ordinary lives are turned upside down by a series of non-happenings that would bore the pants off any other people in the world, but get Americans all excited.

And get them to start talking about 'heroes' and 'drama', etc., when the same uninteresting crap happens all day every day across the world without any comment. So this will be as bad and nauseating as all my other movies.'

An earthquake didn't happen in Peru in response to this news.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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