Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Topics: octuplets

Thursday, 18 June 2009

image for Jon of "Jon and Kate Plus 8" Dating OctuMom
OctoMom's lips before she received her $2,000 deluxe collagen lip injections.

LA HABRA, California - It is official 32-year-old Jon Gosselin of the reality show, Jon and Kate Plus 8 has admitted that he is dating none other than OctuMom.

Gosselin said that he just got fed up with the way that his wife was treating him. She would yell at him and call him awful names in front of their eight kids.

He said that Kate would refer to him as Korea boy, Kim Jong Il lookalike, and Hyundai maker.

Gosselin said that it got so bad that the kids even started hiding his chopsticks, his Korean Thesaurus, and his Great Korean Sardine Recipes Cookbook.

He said that out of sheer desperation and frustration he decided to call up OctuMom. He called her up after getting her private unlisted number from Michelle Obama.

Right away the 33-year-old OctuMom invited him to her house where she prepared a home cooked meal consisting of Korean pizza, Korean Buffalo Wings, and Korean Enchiladas.

Gosselin said that the Korean Enchiladas were without doubt the best he had ever tasted, adding that they were even better than the ones that Taco Bell sells.

Jon smiled and confessed that he and OctuMom hit it off right away. He said that she told him that if his unappreciative peroxide blonde wife doesn't want him that she will be more than willing to have him move in with her and her 14 kids.

OctuMom said that she has just signed a contract with the Fox Network to have her own reality show, which is tentatively called, "The Most Doggone Fertile Loins On The Planet."

Jon told her that he will try and get out of his TLC contract which calls for him to appear in 20 more episodes of Jon and Kate Plus 8.

When his wife, Kate heard that her husband had moved in with OctuMom she hit the roof...literally, she was up on a ladder hanging some decorative summertime decorations from the ceiling.

The attending EMS medical attendants said that Kate only required two stitches to close the cut on the top of her head. They said that they had to give her three different shots in order to calm her down as she was yelling and screaming and calling Jon every name in the book.

One of the attendants said that he heard curse words coming out of Kate's sweet, delicious little mouth that he had never heard before and he served on a U.S. navy destroyer the USS Hurricane Carla.

SIDENOTE: OctuMom has secretly told CNN's Wolf Blitzer that Jon has already bought her an engagement ring. She said that Jon is actually her very first ever love and that includes high school boyfriend Tabooley Washington, carwash boyfriend Gumbo Troublefield, and LAPD mugshot photographer boyfriend Cilantro Pescadero.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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