Nashville Texas - Breaking news: the alcoholic population of the state of Texas today stood firmly behind their brothers and sisters in the state of New Mexico, who have universally condemned the teaching of sexual persuasion to their children in state run schools.
The uproar ensued after the Spiritual leader of sex oriented group GONUKEUS ( Gay Oriented Network Unifying Kinkily Equilateral Universal Sexuality ) Cupid Jennings pressed for children from as young as the age of 5 years be educated that there is nothing wrong with being gay.
A spokesman for the alcoholics, Bud Heinneken, told us:
"Sure, there's nothing wrong in being gay. If that's what people want then that's fine with me. I don't have a problem with it. But you don't see our guys approaching kids and offering them swigs of Jim Beam. I don't think that's appropriate. I also don't think that middle aged adults should be legally allowed to let kids drink 'Jesus Juice' I rest my case."
Tensions between the alcoholics and the sexual reformists were last reported to be on high alert. Police officers are bracing themselves for a backlash.
We'll bring you more as we get it