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Thursday, 18 June 2009

image for Ashley Tisdale Will Be Opening An Elementary School
Kids will have the final word.

Ashley Tisdale is to open up a publicly funded elementary school in Needham, Massachusetts.

Ashley Tisdale today announced plans to create a publicly funded elementary school, at a corporate board meeting in Massachusetts. The school will be partially funded by local property taxes.

The elementary school will focus on new advanced methods of education created by a team of Jewish psychologist and may serve as the new model for the rest of the nation.

In Tisdale's elementary school, homework will be done two hours before school is let out, to assure kids become conditioned to finish their homework.

Psychologists say this mental conditioning will help school kids to accomplish assignments in college when they are on their own.

The school will not have recreation and games so kids can focus on the discipline of learning.

There will be a fifteen minute break where healthy snacks will be served. The snack menu consists of fresh fruits, 100% apple juice and sugar free granola bars.

The elementary school will have individual cubicles inside of the class room to help kids focus on the teacher and prevent distraction by other children. Jewish Psychologist say this helps the brain concentrate more which increases the ability of memory cells to retain information.

Each cubical will be monitored by a television camera which the teacher gets to view from behind her desk. The cubicals will have large windows so the kids can get a clear view of the teacher.

A teacher's assistant will visit each kid in his cubical to help them with their assignment.

The curriculum of the school will focus more on law and less on science. "The purpose of the school is to better prepare children for the outside world because every institution and job is controlled by laws," said Tisdale.

Not only will the new elementary school educate kids on how to protect their legal rights through every aspect of society but there will also be a strong focus on helping kids prepare for college and advanced learning.

The legal curriculum which is the primary curriculum will teach Civil Procedure, Contracts, Criminal Law, Civil Law, Torts, Legal Research and Writing, Constitutional Law, Property, Evidence, and Trail Litigation.

The secondary curriculum will teach Language and Mathematics with less emphasis on Science.

Even though science will receive less emphasis some educators view the science education at Tisdale's school to be superior to what they teach in their elementary schools.

The name of the elementary school will be called "Tisdale Elementary School".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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