Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 June 2009

image for Sarah Palin's Non-Nude Political Plan
Four of David Letterman's writers, whom producers have transferred to the NBC affiliate WICE in Siberia.

WASILLA, Alaska - Governor Sarah Palin confided to her next door neighbor Twilla Tallygaroopna that her and husband Todd's political plan worked like a charm.

The governor confessed that she will not have to end up posing nude in PlayMale Magazine afterall as they had initially believed.

Palin had admitted to Twilla that ever since the presidential election in which McCain and her got their Arizonan ass and Alaskan ass kicked respectively, she has been somewhat depressed, disconcerted, dejected, disgruntled, disillusioned, and discontented.

She smiled her adoring little librarian smile and said, "And that's just the D's."

The governor remarked that she went from being on the cover of Time, Newsweek, TV Guide, and The National Enquirer one week to the next week being on the inside pages of Alaskan Reindeer Recipes Review, Salmon Illustrated, Used Snowplow Monthly, and The Art of Caribou Gutting Weekly

But since talk show host David Letterman made those stupid, asinine, quasi-perverted remarks about her daughter at Yankee Stadium, Palin has watched her popularity shoot up by three full percentage points; from 0 to 3.

Todd is reportedly so thrilled that he has bought her a new red lumberjack hunting cap, a new pair of Kodiak hunting boots, a pair of polar bear bite-proof panties, and a brand new snowmobile equipped with snow spoiler, microwave oven, iPod, iPhone, and iPolarBearTelescopicRifle.

Governor Palin says that now if Conan "The Red Gumby" O'Brien slips up and makes a stupid-ass, moronically vulgar remark like "Cabbage Patch Dave" did then she should gain enough popularity percentage points to be sitting pretty come the 2012 election campaign.

CBS's Katie Couric revealed that Todd Palin personally called her up and asked her if she had any ignorant, featherbrained, imbecilic remarks to make about his wife.

Couric replied, "Of course not!"

"Well then think of some bitch because you chemically ravaged peroxide blonde media types have not heard the last of my sweet little Alaskan wilderness princess."

In a related story. Perez Hilton has stated that Clay Aiken has been turned down for the lead role in the Universal Pictures motion picture, Oops, The David Letterman Story.

A Universal executive said that they felt that Aiken was just not tall enough, talkative enough, or effeminate enough.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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