Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Wednesday, 17 June 2009

image for Angelina Jolie and Adam Lambert To Star With Ron Jeremy in "Digital Switchover"
Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean who plays a fireman in the film "Digital Switchover."

HOLLYWOOD - Angelina Jolie and Adam Lambert will be appearing with Ron Jeremy in Bandini Borrapelli's production of Digital Switchover.

The movie takes place in Brentwood, California. Lambert and Jeremy star as TV cable repairmen Billy Yastremski and Todd Silverdale. Jolie stars as one of Tinseltown's top glamour queens Fortaleza Zaragoza.

Zaragoza is depressed because she has not made a film in over three weeks. One day as she is sitting in her 100 by 90 square foot bedroom she notices that her big screen TV is not working properly.

She becomes depressed because she is missing her favorite show Wheel of Fortune. She frantically calls up the local cable company and they tell her that they will send over a couple of repairmen as soon as possible.

Three minutes later Neptune Cable Company repairmen Yastremski and Silverdale arrive in a fire truck. Yastremski rings Zaragoza's front doorbell.

Zaragoza answers her door wearing a Los Angeles Dodgers baseball cap and nothing else. Both repairmen go inside and they start to check out Zaragoza's cable system. Meanwhile Zaragoza is in the kitchen fixing the repairmen two Tequila Sunrises.

When she returns the three start talking about politics, sports, the Nixon Watergate tapes, local area nudist colonies, and Chastity Bono's sexual reassignment surgery.

After about twelve Tequila Sunrises, eight Kalahari Desert Libido Pills, half a pound of oysters, and two Ukranian Ultra Erectionary Tablets Yastremski, Silverdale, and Zaragoza begin engaging in a menage-a-trois.

Police and firefighters respond when Zaragoza's screams of unbridled totalatarian ecstasy set off her fire alarm sprinkler system.

When firefighters arrive five of the six immediately ask Zaragoza if she will be needing mouth-to-mouth resesitation. She politely declines.

The sixth one turns towards Yastremski and Silverdale and asks them if they'll be needing any. both politely decline. But Yastremski says that he would appreciate another Tequila Sunrise and one or two Kalahari Desert Libido Pills.

The firefighters quickly pack up their firemen's axes, safety nets, poles, and Dalmatian dog and leave.

One of the firemen returns. She's a female firefighter named Colleen Ameche, a beautiful 20-year-old redhead who was last year's Miss San Andreas Fault. She asks Fortaleza if she can have her autograph and maybe a kiss on the cheek.

Zaragoza signs her fireman's helmet and then gently grabs her neck and she kisses her full on the mouth. Colleen is surprised and actually shocked out of her firefighter's outfit. She starts coughing and Yastremski asks her if she needs mouth-to-mouth.

She motions that she does and Yastremski and Silverdale flip a quarter to see who will do the honors.

In news coming out of Europe. France has announced that because of the continuing adverse affects of the world-wide recession it will be adding an extra 15 percent tax on exported French Fries.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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