Written by Jaggedone
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Friday, 12 June 2009

image for C.Ronaldo reveals the truth behind mega-deal between Man U and Perez, King of Real Madrid!
Becks advised Ronaldo to cash in on the mega-bucks and fuck off from that shithole called Manchester, Madrid is much warmer!

C. Ronaldo flogged for 80.000.000,00 nicker to Spanish giants Real Madrid has been telling excited reporters why he desperately wanted to leave Man Utd and also divulged some details of his new contract.

Firstly Ronny named Roonie as the main reason, he was sick and tired of Roonie playing all games and after stamping his feet and having tantrums was told by Sir Alex to "Fuck off Laddie," Ronnies interpretaion was literally to "Fuck Off Laddie" so he has!

Secondly that dimwit Berbatov, who refuses to run in games and demands the ball always into feet whilst Ronny runs his fucking cohones (balls) off (when?) for the cause ( The Ronaldo mega ego-trip cause!).

"Thirdly, Manchester stinks, the weathers shit, the food is shit" and frankly Ronnie said, "I hate the fucking place, the people, especially those Chink, Asian wannabee Utd fans who constantly demand photos and autographs when I'm desperately trying to drive my Ferrari against the wall."

Real Madrid have offered Ronnie special clauses in his new contract:

For every dive around the penalty box = $100.000,00

For every wink of the eye whilst getting his retarded, defensive opponents sent off = 100.000,00 big ones!

For every attacking step he runs at the Bernabeu = $5.000,00 Euro's (Ronnie doesn't need to defend, can't anyway!).

For every time he rips off his shirt and sends the Chiquitas wild = $5.000,00 big one's.

For every time he spreads his sexy thighs before taking a free kick and sends all the Spanish Gays wild = $10.000,00 really big ones (sponsored by the Galactico Gay Times!).

Last not least for every free kick and penalty he misses (plenty of them!) $10.000,00 (reason, Real don't want to upset their new fab signing just in case he stamps his feet, has tantrums and loses his form just like last season at Man Utd!)

Ferguson, when asked about the mega - deal answered in cool Glaswegian "Fuck off Laddie!!!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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