Written by rfreed
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Oil

Tuesday, 9 June 2009

image for Oil Companies Show True Patriotism By Raising Oil Prices
The Nectar The World Feeds From.

U.S. oil companies showed true patriotism this week as they committed to their traditional summertime raising of gas prices at a time of great recession and economic difficulties. As millions struggled with layoffs, high debts, foreclosures and unemployment the feeders of our internal combustion needs guaranteed their own wealthy lifestyles by incurring the annual summer hike in petrol prices right when Americans are using their cars the most.

The oil companies have a proud tradition of showing their loyalty to America by such things as fighting litigation to recompense Alaskans for damage done by the Exxon Valdez oil spill, supporting a war in a Middle Eastern country that was essentially a land grab of their oil resources, undermining environmental laws in the country and weakening the protection of areas set aside as wilderness preserves.

Of course, these paths of action are not at all a surprise. In truth by showing such support for the United States Of America they were actually showing support for themselves because their infiltration of the political machine of the last eight (or perhaps 50) years by their lobbyists and insiders has turned the government into their very own step-and-fetch-it. Having one and a half oil men in the White House the last two terms helped immensely in making the U.S. a subsidy of the petroleum industry.

Plans that the United Oil Companies Conglomerate for the future include introducing Saudi Arabia as the 51st state and having it replace Washington D.C. as the Capitol, putting Sarah Palin in as its President (but only if she wears a burkha), making Dick Cheney the Ambassador to the rest of the world (no others would be needed as the new country would be the most powerful so they wouldn't need to listen to anyone else), annexing Canada and Mexico to use as buffer states and to store any dissidents before execution and outlawing all forms of media except Fox News. Expect this website to disappear sometime next week.

Make rfreed's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 3?

2 14 19 3
57 readers are online right now!

Go to top