Failing to jump on board the lost Air France flight headlines Jaggedone's CIA (cockroach infiltration army) has decided to report on another lost cause, giant panda, GM!
Yesterday "The Black Messiah" and his disciples launched the saviour package for the fab GM whilst on the other side of the atlantic the Krauts were busy saving their own capsized mega-giant and ex GM waster, Opel.
We all know who had the best solution "Deutsche Efficiency" ruled once more as they shagged their former GM owners in the butt and told them to fuck off back to the shoddy USA!
Obama has told everybody and everything related to GM to tighten their fat cat belts, or fucking die. After 60 billion US dollars of tax payers money and mega job losses they are hoping to produce a lean, mean, GM machine that builds cars that every obese Yank wants.
Jaggedone sent his star US/CIA reporter Larry "COCKY- FATARSED" Roach to interview some of the 85% overweight, obese US public and asked would they buy such a crap mini GM instead of a gas-guzzling overlarge equivalent, here are their answers:
Jerry Beefburger from NY: "Fuck you man, my butt is so huge I'd need a stretch-mini GM just for myself, my fat butted missus and my obese kiddies, well they need a fucking truck man!"
Suzie Wong from Detroit: "Fuck those GM'ers, their fatcat-arsed CEO's and Obama, I'm buying a Kraut fucking Opel!"
Black Sam from New Orleans: "Well man I luv Barra boy, but he's got his head up his huge black butt on this one, GM minis, we need fucking hovercrafts in this part of the US, fucking hurricanes an all!"
"Spick" Pedro and his forty Ninos from somewhere near El Paso: "No, no Senor, I no need fucking GM minis hombre, I need fooking kraut Porsche sos I can whip over la border wiz le boot full of Coks and leave them bastardo border guardios behind!
So Obama and his 60 billion bucks obviously will not solve the GM crisis, CIA reporter Larry "COCKY-FATARSED" Roach reports, he advises all fat Yanks to buy Kraut fucking Opels. At least they won't fall apart with all of the extra weight and you'll be helping your ex-enemy to make even more inroads into ruling the world once more, Sieg Heil and Banzai!