Written by Adam Click
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Topics: Post Office

Thursday, 4 June 2009

image for Post Office to Add Delivery to List of Services Offered
In a demonstration of how the new service will work, smartly dressed postal official Dave Snook delivers mail to John Potter

The United States Postal Service has announced that starting July 1st, it will begin offering delivery of mail as a service to it's customers. The service, to be phased in gradually, over a period of years, is expected to win widespread support and increased revenues from the public.

"It has the potential to become one of our most popular services." declared Postmaster General John Potter. "It's a unique concept for us, but one that has worked well for others. We're all very excited!"

The delivery service would involve people collecting the mail, as they have in the past, and sorting it. The unique aspect of the service would have postal employees actually delivering the letters and parcels to the intended parties, instead of keeping the good stuff for themselves and throwing the rest away.

Postal employees are currently undergoing training that will help them avoid encounters with aggressive dogs and encourage encounters with aggressive housewives. "I'm not very keen on the delivery aspect, as I understand it involves quite a bit of walking," said postal worker David Snook, "but I am looking forward to actually meeting some of these people. Their letters can make for some pretty interesting reading. Let me tell you."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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